You're fired!

Santa brought me a Kindle Fire this year and I couldn't be more thrilled about it. It's actually a neat little gadget and I've become rather fond of my device's web browser and tablet-like capabilities. I mean, why would I want to play Words With Friends on my dinky iPhone now that I have this fancy Kindle Fire? And the fact that the pre-loaded Pulse.Me app lets me peruse my favorite news blogs AND the fluff in my Google reader makes me giddy.

I've only downloaded a handful of books to my new toy, but so far they've all been a treat to read. Apparently, there's a decent demand for self-published Kindle Singles and other short stories in the marketplace and freelancers like me have been able to make an extra buck or two this way. In fact, I've collected a number of self-published Kindle Singles on the subject! This is pretty exciting news to me -- perhaps I'll finally be able to realize my dream of producing my own cookbook (titles in my head right now include "Cooking With Booze by Laura" and "A Fat Girl's Guide to Staying That Way") or maybe I'll be able to compile a list of cheap wines that don't give me headaches for profit. The possibilities are endless! I'll let you know how that venture works out, provided I -- oh, you know -- find time to write a book.

My favorite Kindle book so far -- hands down -- is a delightful book of tips and tricks originally published in 1938, called "Better Than Beauty: A Guide to Charm." Despite being chock-full of old-timey advice about avoiding body odor (very un-charming!!) and how to buy hats, some of the advice offered by authors Helen Valentine and Alice Thompson is simply sage. Here are some gems:

* "If being on a diet makes you jumpy and irritable, it probably isn't worth your effort. Everyone prefers a few extra pounds to a shrewish disposition."

* The rule for choosing a hairstyle is simple: "Does it look like it would be pleasant to touch?"

* "The only bad manners are those which are unkind or which contribute to another person's discomfort."

Additionally, the {very charming} authors spend several chapters warning the reader to shy away from conversations involving complaints, what they ate at breakfast, how much sleep they lost, needless tangents and lists of pointless encyclopedic facts. Why? Because they are boring. What a wonderful thing to keep in mind in today's world of pointless, inane rambling blogs (much like this one!) and over-indulgent Twitter feeds. 

The idea of being a refined young lady certainly appeals to me in many ways and perhaps, in my own way, this antiquated-yet-modern approach to charm is a way to express and celebrate femininity and define one interpretation of gender. 

From now on, I am a charming, refined young lady.